It’s happened to all of us—that surge of frustration when someone chews too loudly, or the urge to roll your eyes when a coworker won’t stop talking. While we all get frustrated and irritable on occasion, some people deal with these feelings consistently. This irritability is rarely about the person who’s annoying you. Instead, it often stems from a mix of internal factors, external issues, and learned behaviors. If you’re dealing with constant irritability, worsening mental health, and mood swings, this guide may help.
Get Familiar With the Causes of Irritability
First, let’s take a look at the causes of irritability. Once you have a better understanding of what triggers these feelings, you can take steps to address them. Irritation, frustration, and intolerance can occur for any number of reasons, but you’ll usually find one of the following issues at the root:
- Stress—When you’re extra stressed, your tolerance for minor annoyances is lower than ever. Chronic stress keeps your nervous system in a heightened state of alertness, making you more reactive to things that wouldn’t normally bother you.
- Lack of Sleep—When you’re tired, your brain doesn’t always function like it should. You might become more likely to snap at others or feel disproportionately annoyed by minor inconveniences.
- Unmet Needs—If you’re feeling unfulfilled, lonely, or lacking control in important areas, you might unconsciously project these feelings onto the people around you. Many times, irritability has very little to do with the annoyance itself.
What Might Affect My Tolerance for Others?
We all have different tolerance levels for everyday annoyances. While some folks have a high threshold, others can be set off by something that most would consider a minor issue. There are several reasons why you might be more or less tolerant of other people. Here are some factors that commonly affect our tolerance levels:
Physical Factors
Sometimes, physical issues manifest as mental concerns as well. These physical factors could make you less tolerant of others who annoy you:
- Hunger and Low Blood Sugar—When your glucose levels drop, your brain has less fuel for the higher-order thinking required for social tolerance and emotional regulation. This is why you might notice you’re more likely to get annoyed with people when you haven’t eaten in several hours, even if you don’t feel particularly hungry.
- Hormonal Changes—Fluctuations in hormones due to other medical conditions can dramatically affect your irritability levels. Hormones influence neurotransmitter production, which directly impacts mood and stress tolerance.
- Underlying Health Issues—Certain medical conditions, including thyroid disorders, chronic pain, and autoimmune diseases, can increase irritability. If your irritation toward others has increased suddenly or seems disproportionate to your circumstances, it may be worth discussing with a healthcare provider.
Psychological Factors
Many people with certain psychological patterns also deal with excessive feelings of irritability and intolerance towards others. If any of the following apply to you, they could influence your ability to emotionally regulate in social situations:
- Perfectionism—If you hold yourself to extremely high standards, you likely extend those same expectations to others. When people don’t meet those standards, it triggers frustration.
- Control Issues—People who feel out of control in their own lives often become hypervigilant about controlling their environment, including other people’s behavior. When you can’t control how others act, it worsens feelings of helplessness and frustration.
- Past Trauma—Sometimes irritation toward specific behaviors in others connects to past experiences or trauma. Certain mannerisms, tones of voice, or behaviors might unconsciously remind you of negative experiences and make you less tolerant of them.
- Low Self-Esteem—While it may seem counterintuitive, harsh judgment of others sometimes means you also judge yourself harshly. When you’re highly critical of yourself, you’re more likely to be bothered by perceived flaws in someone else’s behavior.
Social and Environmental Factors
At times, your level of tolerance has less to do with your physical and psychological state and more to do with your environment. Information overload is one major contributor to irritability and a lack of tolerance for others. Constant exposure to social media, news, and digital stimulation can leave your nervous system overstimulated. When you’re already processing excessive information, dealing with other people’s personalities and behaviors can feel overwhelming.
How to Manage Irritability
Managing irritability isn’t always easy, but with the right approach, you can be kinder to others and yourself. Try these emotional regulation tips the next time you feel irritation set in:
- Check in with Yourself—Are you addressing all your basic self-care needs? If you feel irritable, make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep, exercising regularly, and eating a balanced diet.
- Practice Self Awareness—Start looking for patterns in your irritability. Are there specific times, places, or types of people that consistently trigger you? Understanding your patterns helps you prepare for these situations.
- Rethink Your Perspective—Remember that most annoying behaviors aren’t personal attacks on you. People are usually focused on their own lives and challenges, not on deliberately frustrating you. This shift in perspective can help you take things less personally.
- Set Boundaries—Sometimes irritation means you need better boundaries. If certain people consistently drain your energy, it’s okay to change how you interact with them.
- Be Compassionate—Try to extend the same understanding to others that you’d want for yourself on a difficult day. Everyone is fighting battles you can’t see, and many irritating behaviors stem from someone’s own struggles.
Address the Root Cause of Irritability
If you’re worried about your tolerance of others getting out of hand or notice your irritability and anxiety are connected, don’t hesitate to get help. A therapist or psychiatrist can help you better understand your mental health and take steps to reduce these feelings. At MindWell Urgent Care, we see patients at our Dallas, TX location, but our telepsychiatry services are also open to patients in the rest of Texas, Oklahoma, New Jersey, Florida, and Kansas. Contact us today to make your first appointment.