10 Ways to Support a Loved One with Depression

Depression affects millions of people. When someone close to you is struggling, it’s hard to know how to help. If some of your well-intentioned efforts have fallen flat, it’s time to rethink the methods you use to support a loved one with depression.

Signs of Depression

Before you can support someone, it’s helpful to know what they’re experiencing. Depression isn’t just feeling sad—it’s a complex mental health condition that affects many aspects of life. Wondering how you can tell if someone is depressed? Here are some signs to watch for:

Persistent sadness or low mood
Loss of interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed
Insomnia or difficulty getting out of bed
Noticeable weight gain or loss
Complaining about a lack of energy
Difficulty concentrating
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
Expressions of hopelessness or a preoccupation with death

If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks and interfere with your loved one’s daily life, it may be a case of clinical depression. Don’t ignore these signs—early support makes all the difference.

Supporting a Loved One with Depression

1. Be a Compassionate Listener

Sometimes, the best way to help a friend with depression is simply to listen. While you may not have all the answers, just being there is a relief. Focus on creating a safe space where your loved one can talk without fear of judgment. Show empathy with affirming phrases like, “That sounds really tough,” or “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.” Most importantly, resist the urge to problem-solve. Your friend doesn’t need you to “fix” their feelings—often, they just need to vent.

2. Encourage Professional Help

Depression can’t be overcome with sheer willpower; it requires therapy, medication, or a combination of treatments. Be gentle but firm, saying something like, “I’ve noticed you struggling, and I think a therapist could really help.” Next, offer to find a provider, schedule an appointment, or accompany them to see a therapist. Make sure they know that seeking help is brave, not a sign of weakness.

3. Offer Practical Assistance

Depression saps energy and makes even the simplest tasks feel monumental. Offer to help with cleaning, running errands, or cooking meals to lighten their load and show you care. If they’re a parent or pet owner, step in to help with responsibilities so they can have a much-needed break. Even small gestures like bringing over a favorite snack or helping them reorganize can mean a lot.

4. Promote Healthy Lifestyle Choices

While lifestyle changes won’t cure depression, they can help manage symptoms. Approach this tactfully, as pushing too hard might drive your loved one away. For instance, you might invite them on a walk or to attend your yoga class sometime. Take them out for lunch at a restaurant known for serving healthy food, or cook a meal together full of nutrient-rich ingredients. Framing these healthy activities as opportunities to spend time together makes them more appealing.

5. Stay Connected

Depression often causes people to withdraw from friends and family, but isolation can worsen their symptoms. Staying in touch helps them feel less alone. One way is to check in regularly with a quick “How are you doing today?” Be patient—they may not always respond, but your persistence matters.

Another tip is to plan low-pressure hangouts like getting coffee, watching a movie, or taking a walk. These activities don’t require much effort or preparation, making them less likely to overwhelm your loved one. Even if they decline, the gesture itself shows that you care.

A woman holds hands with an older loved one who is dealing with depression

6. Know What to Say to Someone Who Is Depressed

The right words offer comfort and reassurance. Some helpful phrases include “I’m here for you,” “You’re important to me,” “Your feelings are valid,” and “How can I help?” At the same time, avoid dismissive phrases like “Cheer up,” “Think positive,” “Snap out of it,” or “It could be worse.”

7. Educate Yourself About Depression

Knowing what your loved one is going through can make you a better source of support. Research common symptoms, treatment options, and what recovery might look like. Check out trusted online resources like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) or Psychology Today, read books on depression, or listen to relevant podcasts. Throughout your research, put yourself in their shoes, recognizing that their feelings are valid even if you don’t fully understand them.

8. Encourage Adherence to Treatment

If your loved one has already started treatment, help them stick to it. Depression can make it hard to stay consistent with therapy or medication, so your encouragement is invaluable. Offer gentle reminders, such as “Do you have a therapy appointment this week?” or “Did you remember to take your medication today?” Just be careful not to make them feel micromanaged.

9. Be Patient and Avoid Judgment

Recovery from depression isn’t linear, and setbacks are common. Remain patient and avoid criticizing any lack of progress. Instead, celebrate every time they attend therapy or follow their doctor’s recommendations. This changes the focus to how far they’ve come rather than where they “should” be.

10. Know the Warning Signs of Suicide

While not everyone with depression is suicidal, knowing what to watch for can save a life. Warning signs include talking about wanting to die, giving away possessions, or sudden changes in mood after a depressive episode.

If you’re worried, it’s okay to ask, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” Don’t worry—this won’t plant the idea in their mind and may actually provide relief. If you determine your friend is at risk, contact a crisis hotline or schedule urgent mental health care. Whatever you do, don’t leave them alone.